Prep Time: 10-15 minutes
Cook Time: 45 min-1 hr
Serves: 5 hungry adults, with leftovers
Difficulty: The hardest part is cracking the eggs without getting egg shells in it, so you tell me…
Recommended Sides: Well, this is the side dish, recommended to top off your Easter Bunny, or holiday ham. It would probably also be great on pork, hamburgers, or as a stand-alone dish.
20 oz Crushed Pineapple
1/4 Cup Water
1/2 Cup Sugar
2 Eggs Beaten
2 TBS Cornstarch
1 Tsp Vanilla
1 Stick Butter (you’re not using the whole thing, don’t worry!)
Step 1: Assemble Ingredients
Really, this isn’t rocket science, just get everything together and ready for prep. Preheat oven to 350.
Step 2: Hose the pan down with grease
Not really, but at least grease the pan so the sugary goodness won’t bake onto the pan and be a nightmare to clean later on. Recommended baking dish for a single recipe is 8×8, however since I was doing a double, I rocked a 13×9. For this step you could use PAM non-stick spray, but I decided to go old school with the Crisco. PS, does anyone even use Crisco anymore? It’s like a 50s throwback cooking ingredient that, I’ll be honest, I’d do without on the next occasion.
Step 3: Combine the Apple of Pine
With the other ingredients. My recommendation: Crushed Pineapple. Add water. Mix. Add sugar. Mix. Add Cornstarch. Mix. Beat two eggs. Add eggs. Mix. Add vanilla. Mix. Again, not rocket science, thanks for playing, Neil deGrasse Tyson.
Step 4: Shake’n’Bake
Again a kitchen nightmare from the 50s (or so?) But no, it’s not shake’n’bake, and you probably don’t need help. Once all of your ingredients are combined, pour your mix into the greased pan. Sprinkle with cinnamon and dot with butter shavings (or chunks, if you’re not that fancy). And insert into oven.
Step 5: Find Alternate Source of Entertainment
You’ve got 45 minutes to an hour before this baby’s ready for serving, so go have a breather, run a couple miles, take a bath, do a load of laundry, have a few beers, whatever you like. Just take it easy for a while and let the oven do the work.
Step 6: EAT!
Between the 45 minute to hour mark, keep an eye on your Amazing Colossal Pineapple Bake, once it’s browned in the middle, wiggly, but not watery, and bubbling on the sides, you’re ready to serve. Actually, you might want to wait like 10 minutes after removing from oven, so as to avoid burning the roof of your mouth. Isn’t that the worst, especially when it starts shedding the burnt mouth skin like two days later? Ugghh.
Other than that, ENJOY!