Mystery Science Kitchen 3000

The Incredibly Strange Pesto Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Tortellini

(This recipe is entirely stolen from Roger and Amy. They are the couple with glasses (see below) who kind of look the same, but they don’t think they look the same. But they totally look the same.)

Prep Time: 5 minutes
Cook Time: 30 minutes
Serves: 7. Exactly
Difficulty: Depends… If you can cook bacon and boil water, you can do this. 
Recommended Side Dishes: Any kind of bread , fine wine (or the champagne of beer), and friends to help eat it.

1 Side of bacon (or prosciutto, but don’t cook the prosciutto!)
Tortellini (not spaghetti)
Parmesan cheese (shredded)
1 Cup pesto
1 Cup sweet corn
Pepper to taste
a bunch of water

Step 1: Bacon It Like Reddit
Get a lot of bacon and chop it into little bits. Start boiling a lot of water at the same time, maybe a gallon or so. Toss the bacon into a frying pan and start cooking on medium.

Step 2: Corny Bacon
Some people don’t like their corn to taste like bacon, but then some people are right and love the taste of bacon in everything. Once the bacon is nearly complete, throw a cup of sweet corn directly into the pan. It can be frozen corn, but it it’s from a can, drain it first. No one wants corn juice on their bacon. Cook until the bacon is finished and the corn is soft and fully cooked.

Step 3: Tortellini im Wasser
Put your Tortellini (the colorful noodle looking things) into the boiling water and cook for 10 minutes, or until they’re nice and soft. While this is going on, it is a good time to make any side dish, as all you can do now is wait for it to finish cooking.

Step 4: Pesto It Up
Pour the Tortellini into a colander over the sink, then put it back in the same pot. Add the bacon and corn, and mix. Then add a lot of pesto and stir, while keeping the stove on medium. We used about a cup of pesto and it was awesome. Stir and stir and stir.

Step 5: Add Cheese To Please
Shred some Parmesan cheese over the mixture and keep cooking until it’s all melted in.  Stir some moar.

Step 6: Eat!
Now you’ve made a completely awesome dish with no harmful side effects. Feed your family, friends, neighbors, hungry people hiding in the alleyway behind your house, anyone!
This entry was written by rhetorock and published on January 8, 2012 at 11:52 am. It’s filed under Recipes and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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